We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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