We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
