Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
