hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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