Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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