He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
