the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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