A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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