i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
bring money and cleavage
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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