True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
