I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
