Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
