im drinking this country out of the recession.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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