I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
