real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
