How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
