guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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