so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
