Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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