isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
