Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
