all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
