her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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