My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
two words: eviction party
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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