I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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