Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
