I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
