I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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