can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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