This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
