I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
