Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
