what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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