life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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