But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
