I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
