no, he came in my armpit
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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