Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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