Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
