I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
