A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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