Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
