how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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