i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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