That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
