dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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