There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
