sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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