oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
