What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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