is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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