At least make sure they are 18
Why
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
please don't ironically join a cult
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